Hello! Welcome! We are still talking with Shivani about tantra. How will tantra help with sexual life? – Concerning what we talked about in the other parts, regarding the siderial orgasms and etcetera. –
Tantra is a new door for the relationships. I’m absolutely sure of that! Because it brings us back to our essence. And we stop… and the liberation… The word “tantra” has both: expansion and liberation. “Liberation” comes from that: comes from stop living accordingly to patterns. – Exactly! What they expect from us, isn’t it? – Exactly! I use to say: if we were born now, absolutely free from influences from religions, societies, what so ever…
Who are we? Isn’t it? And how do I reach my essence and how can I relate with someone else from there? Tantra offers this to long term relationships, for instance. People enter that poor record, that you, Heloísa have just mentioned, of fulfiling the obligation. – Exactly. – They feel obliged to have sexual intercourse twice or three times a week… –
Oh! My friend! That is a bonus. – Well I’m from the generous type! – … because otherwise the wife will meet some other guy. He has to perform, isn’t it? There is always a worry with “doing”; And that concern exists in the whole society, at all levels. We always need to be doing, doing, doing something. And when tantra arrives to a couple’s life, Women love it! Because I think women have waited all their life’s for tantra to exist. Why do they love it? It allows them to try other senses; we have several senses, isn’t it?
They may feel that their body – that is all erogenous – suddenly is valued by the man. And… Women are able to expand to such an extent… We use to say in tantra that they reach a more expansive orgasm and the man has to be in “presence”. The man is the icon of presence and the woman is the icon of expansion. And when the man observes the woman and remains in presence, the woman expands and then the man drinks from that nectar. And they both reach a great expansion and a big change regarding the couple.
The same happens individually, because we can make the energy circulate with the Universe, or with the cosmos, without having a partner. And it is essential that this happens before we have a relation with somebody. For men, it also has a lot to do with the no ejaculation practises, at least sometimes, isn’t it?
Men should understand that, energetically speaking, the ejaculation represents an energy drainage, and that it would be much better for them if they did not ejaculate everytime that they have sexual intercourse. Because that energy is reabsorbed and they keep… a lot of energy; spare and spare energy. And that is also good for the women, because their partner will stay… he will keep desire for longer, isn’t it?
So, this is a dance, between Shiva and Shakti. It is really a dance. And it is a meditation because they are in the present, aware, in the instant, being total, – They are really there, isn’t it? – They are really there! They are not thinking: “Oh, now I have to go there and pay that bill”, or “now I have to go wash the dishes”. If it is going to be that way, it is better not to do it – No! It is better to leave the dishes unwashed! – Either to leave the dishes unwashed or do what one has to do and say: “Ok! So let us set an appointment, let’s set it!” And… this is a good suggestion that I want to leave: that they set a time… – And how does this work?
How is your experience regarding couples who seek you. How is it?
Of course you have already told us that women accept it more. How is it? – Yes! Yes! But so do men, but so do man. Because it’s curious that men know a lot about tantra, sometimes they know more about tantra than women do. – My fifteen years old son asked yesterday: “what’s the interview about?”; “Tantra” “Wow!” – WOW!!! Men know it! Men know it ! – He has just became fifteen! – Exactly! Men know and… So, when women invite them I don’t know any man who has told “no”. Because it has to do with sex, isn’t it?
And the men is the icon of… – He is a male! – He is a male, isn’t it? So… The men’s first chakra is positive. So, naturally, the man has all of his attention foccused on the first chakra. And also on the procriation principle, etcetera.
From my experience, what I see, regarding couples, is that they fall in love again. They discover a new vibration. That which is the usual in the relationship, that after a while has nothing new, isn’t it? Why? Because it’s always the same thing! There’s nothing new! It’s just to fulfil a little bit, isn’t it? And with tantra people rediscover… and they rediscover something that I find essential and that reminds me of how we fell before having a sexual relation.
We are able to feel that passion again; those… well… those more spontaneous sensations, purer, of purer energy. Because when the woman is… – now I’n going to give the woman as an example – but if the woman is in the man’s presence, and if the man is carressing her, and honouring the Godess who is there, that woman looses the stress of having to please him. Or that, whatever he is doing is for her to do something back. So, putting away that pattern that we always have to be doing something… people are able to “be”, and, suddenly, energy works by itself. And this also has to do with polarities between man and woman. – That we will mention in the next part. – Exactly! Ok! And so… Osho said this: “Try not to do anything. And just join, man and woman join Breath together.
Learn how to circulate this energy. And, next, observe. See what happens.” Beautiful things may happen, isn’t it? – Sure! – And people may also have “normal” sex, in a more “animal” way too, those more “calientes”, isn’t it? But that is also tantra! If we are in “presence”, if we are observing. And… there is an… Osho’s invatation for meditation that is: “When you’re in the presence of the other, observe. Observe the other. Observe yourself. And then, observe both.” And one day – and this has to do with, well… the sublimation of sexual energy into loving energy, and then into cosmic energy, isn’t it?
One day, the person may no longer need to be in a sexual relation. He /she may just be circulating with the Universe. That “sidereal orgasm”, and that lasts! Lasts forever! – Does it last the whole Universe? – It lasts the whole Universe! Of course that, when couples include tantra in their relationship, the relations last more; because of this: there is no rush, there is no objective. – And they feel more satisfaction, isn’t it? – And they fell more satisfaction and they start opening the space of the heart. And they are there one for the other, because this also has the other part: when we enter the space of the heart, we also unlock memories, and… traumas and that… very common thing: “I find it hard to surrender.” – If I surrender I’ll be in disadvantage. – Exactly. Isn’t it?
All these… thinkings that the mind brings and that the little monkey… – Exactly! We are tamed for that… – Completely! Completely! – And all that concept , that judeo-christian guilt, that terrible thing that it’s all a sin, it’s all bad. – Terrible! – People don’t even allow themselves to be happy. They say: “start the day laughing, you’ll end it crying”, isn’t it? – That’s it! Completely! – Thank you, Shivani!