Here we are at Zen Trade show in Paris. I am with a goddess of Love, who will reveal her secrets to relationship, what is tantra and how we can be a happy couple. But it start with ourselves. Correct? Absolutely! Nowadays, we speak a lot about relationships and about the relationship with yourself,but especially about the relationship with others,how to be in love, in relation, in communication with the other.
The tantra can give you the possibility to find a path. A new path, an very enriching one. What is Tantra? How do we define Tantra? Is it a sexual practice ?Is it an energetic work? What is it exactly? It’s many things.We often talk about tantra as something sexual,but in reality it is just a little part of tantra.First of all it is about getting yourself aligned on an energetic mental,physical and spiritual level.
What you want to do is to bring spirituality into your life in a very simple and natural manner,because today we are a little tired with religions,with all our education that was very restrictive because of all the judeo-christian culture that we don’t believe in at all today.So what do we do?
Tantra is first of all something that gets us back in touch with our humanity. So you are saying that first of all we must be in contact with ourselves and reconnecting to oneself ,because everything starts with ourselves ,before being able to give to the other,to communicate and be in sinergy with the other?
Why is it so essential to reconnect to oneself and how can we do it? We always try to find the solution outside of ourselves,but the solution is first of all inside of us and we have unbelievable potential,and in our society nowadays,we are not at all aware of our capacities,so it is simply about going back to our inner wealth, to our gifts. How do we achieve that?
Well,you simply have to trust your body. In tantra we get in motion our body through different exercises and practices during which we work on the breathing, on the movement, dancing, the expression of the right words. The words that come from inside you,expressing one’s truth and then knowing how to listen to the other.Simply knowing how to receive someone as they are,without judgements.
This is more difficult because we are very used to judge: THIS is good, THIS is NOT good, I LOVE this, I DON’T love this. Tantra says we must accept everything as it is. Accepting everything doesn’t mean I adhere to everything but in some situations, we should ask ourselves how I transform this this situation in a positive one. Tantra is about having a positive attitude in life. Am I going to be positive when I wake up and say ‘What a nice day even if it rains? after all, I can do so many things!’ or am I going to say: ‘It’s so tiring?’
That in mind, we center ourselves every minute with our thoughts who have nothing to do with our vitality.How do we take care of our vitality? There are exercises for reviving for re-energizing,for putting the energy into circulation and re-become more alive! unconditionally and fully to the other and live a passionate physical connection but also a spiritual connection, with an open heart and an energy that goes beyond what we know of?
Fully! How can we achieve that? Letting go completely always produces fear because we think ‘Oh my God,what will happen to me?’,but letting go is more about finding the self-confidence and being able to release. In tantra we always talk about the yin-yang energies the male and the female, the alchemy of male and female.
I learn to rebuild within myself the alchemy of that male and female in order to be whole. From there I can really relate and connect to the other more easily. If I don’t I have the tendency to lose myself in the other and then I don’t know where I am anymore and I am not able to affirm my position or my choices, my wishes. I will only do it as a response to the others,what is good,what is not good and in our culture we are pretty divided. It is the culture of duality,and tantra is living one’s totality in harmony with oneself and with the other.
Things can go up and down,it’s not always as we want them to, but that is not the problem, it is about how I react. You offer CDs to relax ourselves ,with music and condition ourselves to get in that state? Yes, music is very important. As an artist,I can’t go without music. I created a meditation, meditation in motion because it is easier to get in motion in order to be able to let go of the mental and to abandon oneself to one’s body and sensations because it is really a work on our senses so it is already a way to center oneself and to know oneself a little better from the inside.
So there is a CD of meditation in motion called ‘The CD of the four directions’ and that has a very beautiful music made by my companion Olivier Becenier and myself. I sing in that meditation. I invite you to try it. And that is a meditation that can be done as a couple? Absolutely!You can do it alone,in a couple or in a group,there is no limit,we can have 10 or 80 people,it is open to everyone, because the moves are very simple and quiet, so there is so worries to have. Would you say that sexual energy is the same as spiritual energy?
Let’s talk about sexual energy,because often times sexual energy is considered to be separate from our energy.But our sexual energy is basically our vitality which can be used for sexuality but also to feed all our other chakras. The goal here is to reheat our first chakra to revitalize both our sexuality but also our centering,our capacity to communicate with the others and to receive the others and then opening our heart,but I don’t like the term opening,it’s more about expanding,making room,being able to relax on the things that constrain us.
Doing it consciously. Tantra is in the same time the expansion of conscience, transformation and personal evolution. So it is very adaptable today. I feel very strongly that when we arrive to that expansion,meaning that I could probably speak more easily with the others, communicate in a correct, in a true way, not in the sense that something is true and something else isn’t, but that it really comes from the inside,from myself,and that I speak out.
Then my intuition develops itself and I can connect myself to something higher than myself, further from myself,spirituality,or we can say Cosmic,Divine energy,call it God, call it as you wish and if you have a certain religion,that will not take it away from you, it will only feed it a little more.In tantra we make a connection between letting the spiritual come down onto us,learning to embody the spirituality into matter.
And … what is an orgasm then? Everybody runs after the orgasm,it is normal. But for me what is interesting about tantra is living the spirituality in the act of love and having an orgasm is not an end in itself,but it is the scheme to be able to go towards an extatic relation,being able to embody the union of man and woman on a spiritual level,going through the canal and I will contact the extatic energy,but we we can’t describe it,it is very personal and it is really absolute silence and then little by little we integrate it in ourselves and then we can detach from the other and go back to ourselves.
So each of us is nourished by this experience,and it is fabulous,so this gives the love relationship in another dimension. Is it possible to reach orgasm without physical contact?through meditation for instance? There are tantric exercises through which we can reach extatic orgasm without intercourse,without sexual act,because it is purely energetic and what is fantastic is that I can practice it all alone!!
I can really live it for myself. After that,if I can share it somebody,well… that’s amazing. Without going into details,how can we get there by ourselves? I can’t give you a demonstration now,but with breathing exercises, moving the pelvis and then we get our energy up chakra after chakra to the seventh and eighth chakra, towards the connection beyond oneself and then I let this energy descend I integrate this energy into my body.
So we have a lot of exercises to learn to find the flow in the energy in order to be able by ourselves,we don’t need the other for having an orgasm.So instead of being just physical,it is also physical and energetic it can be totally energetic and I can assure you those are real orgasms,it’s not imaginary even we can talk about orgasms on energetic levels,on the seventh chakra, because a dimension,an opening gets created,which is similar to orgasm. Can you describe the seventh and eighth chakra?
There are more chakras than that but we usually work on the first seven chakras because they are the most palpable in rapport to our body but… The sixth chakra is the third eye,the intuition the expansion of thought and then the seventh chakra which is the crown, the opening to the higher,and then of course there are scales,levels of spiritual connection.It is important to be able to at least go there because it is an opening to the Cosmic energy. So the pleasure is infinite. As a Goddess of Love do you always access new levels of pleasure?
Yes,but it is frustrating that it doesn’t work every time but what is nice is that in tantra we never finish discovering,it is really about discovering oneself and the other,it is all the richness that we can create in the relationship through the communication that goes through all that we are and that is not only a purely mental communication and I think in our society it is really important to search for this true communication, because the tendency is to remain on the mental level and not being anchored,not being in our own power,and in our heart, and that inner fire and the heart-opening. Thank you very much. Thank you Lilou, thank you very much. You are adorable! That’s nice to hear. Thank you.