We have three modules in our tantra training, and each module deals with a different story. The first module that we are going to have in March now, is the longest, it is eleven days, and it deals a lot with creating energy and presence in the body. The first thing about sexual energy is that almost nobody has a natural flow of sexual energy, most of us suppress it. Some people are addicted to it, but most of us supress it out off shame, out of the feeling of being rejected.
There is 101 reasons not to follow, not to show, not to allow your energy. And of course when we don’t allow our energy, it cannot clear. We are stuck in it, we are stuck on a permanent repetition, we are stuck on a permanent holding pattern. So in the first module, one of the things that we are going to do, we’re going to find ways to move this energy, to express this energy, to follow it, to see, maybe for the first time, where it actually wants to go. And usually, when that happens, it’s a moment where there is a certain danger of things going wrong, of hurting other people, of hurting yourself, of feeling rejected, of creating a lot of pain, but we will do this in this training in a context of heart and awareness so we will be able to let energy flow and yet it will not be a chaos, it will be a situation in which slowly, slowly, we can understand more about ourselves and what we do.
We hardly actually know our real energy so the first step is that you are going to start to know yourself, you are going to start to recognize the things that are inside of you, nice things, also difficult things. We also are going to see the patterns that have been holding us, you know. So, in a way, we find a ludic and playful way to really dive deep in the conditioning and through that loosen up things a little bit. So what is it going to give to the person?
It’s gonna be first a sense of, a more sense of I AM, I AM, this is wow! I am alive! I am alive, I am here, this is me, this is… if I can allow this, you know, I am going to have many other things: creativity, I’m going to have strength, I’m going to have wish to do things. So it is not just based on the sex itself, we are really dealing with the life energy and the vital energy. Because when you suppress your sexuality, you are not only suppressing your sexuality, you’re suppressing the flow of energy inside of you, that can, if it is allowed, manifest in many beautiful dimensions. So, once we start getting this started, a lot of changes can happen. Yes, they are changes that… You don’t make the change.
The change suddenly happens and you are witnessing. It is almost like: from a caterpillar to a butterfly, slowly, slowly. This is the feeling you know. You are in a tight space, and then you start to: aaaah… wow. And then the other element that follows right by the side, is awareness, is presence. Because just allowing energy without consciousness, you become, like Osho would say, you become a beautiful animal.
If you do not have the presence and the awareness to see how the energy flows, what you create, how the other receives you, what is being touched in you, if you are just doing and doing and doing… It is going to be destructive, sooner or later. So presence needs to come with aliveness. Only then it is a complete package. Yeah, which then brings us to the third element, which is the heart. And the heart is kind of a mysterious place, because it takes you to a different dimension of perception, of care, of connection with the other. And this I would say that is very special in a way about our work, is this quality of connecting which has a softness, even though you are very alive, it has a softness, it has a respect. It has like a warmth to it. Because when you talk about sexuality, without the heart, there is an hardness to it, there is a…. You can border very close to indulgence, then it becomes kind of negative in a way.
So when you bring the heart in, it really brings what I call, “pó de pirlimpimpim” Stardust! A stardust, you know? It makes things like: – Wow! It makes them special, unique, connected. Our work is based on the heart, which means, our work is based on presence. And we are teaching in this module, amongst other things, how to be present. And you can be present in sexuality, you can be present when you drive a car, when you eat your food. Presence is something that you can have 24 hours a day. We use the opportunity of this group to teach you how to be present. What are the necessary steps you need to take to be present.
Because most of us are not present. Most of us, many times during the day, are totally lost in some illusionary realm of thoughts and fears and projections… Memories. So coming to this mode, coming to this moment, also in sex, is miraculous! It is a totally different experience than most people will ever have in their life. Through sexuality, we can reach very deep inside. We can actually dive in layers of the unconscious and make things come to the surface. Yes. When we are coming close to somebody sexually, we are actually in search of unconditional love. And when we search unconditional love, we are very vulnerable, because we know already; from when we were young, that, usually, there is no unconditional love for us to get.
So when we come close to somebody we get very vulnerable because we know, most probably, being rejected by that person will hurt very much. So what happens? We try to be somebody, we try to behave in such a way, that rejection will not happen. So we act instead of be, we invent things. We produce. That’s what we call compensation. We compensate, we try to be the ideal lover, we try to do everything right, eleven red roses and so on, and so on. It doesn’t work. What we actually need? We need to face our emotional reality, and when we face our emotional reality, we can integrate that which we couldn’t integrate before because we didn’t want to feel it. We think love comes here.
This is love.
But actually love is here, and then it overflows. In other words, we are looking for unconditional love outside, without knowing how to give it to ourselves. So a lot of the work is this. Constantly. Responsibility. Presence. Awareness. Of what I’m doing? What I’m creating? Learning how to accept who I am. What I feel. Learning to give attention to yourself. No matter how you fell, not to reject certain feelings, and anchor in one other feeling. All this is one package. Once you learn it, you can have sex or not, but something changed in your life, you feel more integrated.